


Holiday

by soongtypeprincess



Series: South Downs Retirement [11]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Day At The Beach, Established Relationship, Fluff, Funny, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Married Couple, Sort Of, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), first holiday together, look they're both dumb and in love, newlyweds, soft, two idiots whose love language is bickering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 07:36:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21071273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soongtypeprincess/pseuds/soongtypeprincess
Summary: The noises of the city are becoming too much for Crowley so Aziraphale suggests they go on holiday.





	Holiday

**Author's Note:**

> This is an extension of a ficlet I posted on my Tumblr called "Noises." I hope you enjoy.
> 
> I'm adding this to my South Downs Retirement series because...well I wanna. :P
> 
> I do not own these characters.

Aziraphale was tending to one of his bookshelves. A rather lazy customer had decided to rearrange some of his carefully organized first editions before leaving their empty coffee container on the floor.

“The very nerve of some of these people,” he grumbled to himself.

After the customer had left, he shut the shop for the rest of the day. He couldn’t risk another person wreaking more havoc.

The knob on the front door turned as someone on the other side pushed against it.

Aziraphale huffed out a small, triumphant giggle and continued to arrange his books, but the person would not leave. They continued to turn the knob and bang on the door.

“Oh, really,” he hissed, and he snapped his fingers to dim the lights.

The turning stopped for just a moment before there was urgent tapping on the glass.

“Angel!”

Aziraphale instantly stopped his work and rushed to the door, wondering why Crowley wasn’t coming from the back room like he usually did. 

He quickly opened the door and Crowley pushed his way inside, followed by a barrage of people talking and cars blaring their horns..

“I’m sorry, dear,” Aziraphale said, shutting the door.. “I didn’t realize it was you. Only you always come in from the back door and–”

Crowley put up his index finger to silence him.

Aziraphale waited and watched his husband walk to the register and catch himself on the counter.

He pressed his back into it and slowly slid to the floor.

“Darling?” Aziraphale whispered as he approached him, looking down at him with a concerned frown.

Crowley exhaled slowly.

He took off his sunglasses and looked up at him, his golden eyes wet.

“It’s ssso…quiet in here…” he whispered.

Aziraphale knelt beside him. “Dearest,” he said. “What’s the matter?”

Crowley closed his eyes as a tear quickly dropped down his cheek. 

“It’s just so  _ loud _ today.”

“Loud? What do you mean?”

“Just…everything.” He paused and covered his eyes with his hand as he sniffed. “Cars…construction…bloody people on their mobiles…it’s too much, today, angel; I can’t take it.”

Aziraphale sighed. “Are you still hung over?”

He shook his head. “Nah, I sobered up before I went to the flat, remember?”

“Ah…yes, of course. Well, why didn’t you stay in bed?”

Crowley moved closer and leaned into his husband’s chest. “I wanted to treat you to dinner. We’ve been married three months now, you know?”

Aziraphale smiled and caressed his cheek. “Yes, we have. Three wonderful months.”

“So, I thought we could celebrate, you know? The Ritz or wherever you’d like.”

“Sweetheart…”

Crowley grinned. “Sweetheart?”

“You don’t like that?”

“S’got a nice ring to it, angel, but you’ve never called me that.”

“How about ‘sugar,’ then?”

“Blessed be, Aziraphale,” he giggled. “Do you want to discorporate me?”

“Oh, you’re so dramatic.” He kissed his temple and smoothed down his hair. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Barely.”

“Why don’t we dine here? We could order take away, listen to music, if you prefer.”

Crowley sighed again. “Are you sure, love?”

“Yes, I think it best.”

“I’m sorry…” Crowley muttered.

“None of that.” Aziraphale sat next to him and took his hand, resting it in his lap as Crowley put his head on his shoulder.

“Listen, dear,” he said. “I’ve been thinking. Why don’t we take a holiday?”

“We had a honeymoon, angel.”

“That doesn’t count! This would be an actual holiday. Maybe we could go to the beach? Stay in a small cottage, sleep late every morning.”

Crowley lifted his head. “Sounds like you have a place in mind.”

Aziraphale smiled and snapped his fingers, making a pamphlet appear in Crowley’s lap. 

Crowley picked it up. “Sussex?”

He opened the pamphlet to find a picture of chalky cliffs. 

“South Downs,” he said. 

“Yes,” Aziraphale replied, still smiling. “It looks quite peaceful, doesn’t it?”

“What’s to do out there?”

“Oh, well, lots of places to walk, to explore. Look here.” He pointed to a section in the pamphlet. “Nature reserves, with old growth trails, lots of wild flora and fauna. Not to mention the beach, of course. You could sun yourself–”

“When the sun is ever out.”

Aziraphale smirked. “Oh, come along, darling. I think you could use the quiet. This isn’t the first time you’ve…I mean to say that, you seem to be more nervous than usu—”

“I’m not nervous,” Crowley sharply interrupted him and leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. “I’m just so  _ bloody tired _ .”

“All the more reason why we should have a holiday.”

Crowley stared at the pictures of the trails and rolling waves of the beach.

“You might be right…” he muttered.

“I’m sorry, what was that? I’m  _ what? _ ” 

He turned to Aziraphale who was wearing a cheeky grin. 

“I said you  _ might _ be right,” he said, scrunching his nose. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“You know...maybe we can celebrate our three month anniversary this way?”

Crowley grinned. “You’ve been thinking about this a while, eh?”

Aziraphale shrugged. “Maybe. It would be a nice change of scenery. To be honest, it’s gotten a bit noisy around the shop lately.”

Crowley looked around the empty shop. “ _ Here? _ ”

“Not  _ inside  _ the shop, but just around. There’s a new high-rise being built not too far from here. It’s tough to concentrate sometimes.”

“So we should go to the beach so that you can read?”

“So we can have a holiday! I’m not going to be reading the entire time.”

Crowley gave him an incredulous look, but then took his hand again and kissed it.

“The angel has been plotting, I see.”

“I’ve been  _ planning _ ,” he said, rolling his eyes. “There’s a difference, young man.”

They shared a laugh and Aziraphale helped him up. “Why don’t I make us a nice cup of tea and we can talk it over.”

“Ngk,” Crowley grunted, taking his husband’s hand as they walked to the back room. “Is my Fire still here?”

“Your what?”

Crowley laughed again. “My tablet. We could book a cottage online, see what’s available.” 

“Oh! Yes, that thing _ . _ Good idea. I believe it’s still on your side of the bed.”

They reached Aziraphale’s flat where Crowley shut the door behind them. He approached him and gave him a soft kiss.

“ _ Bed _ sounds like an excellent idea.”

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow and pursed his lips. “Naturally,” he replied, placing his hands on Crowley’s hips. “I told you that you needed rest.”

“I think you know what I need, angel.” He kissed him again, hungrier this time as he loosened Aziraphale’s bow tie.

The angel pulled away, smiling as Crowley trailed kisses down his neck. “Oh…Crowley…I thought you didn’t want to hear any more loud noises today.”

“I happen to like  _ your  _ noises.”

\------------------

**Two weeks later **

“Angel! Angelll!!”

Aziraphale looked up from his book and saw his husband waving at him from the water.

“Yes, I see you, dear!” he yelled back.

Crowley groaned. He spotted a big swell coming up behind him and smiled as he caught the wave, letting it push him back to shore where he stumbled into the thick sand.

He approached his husband, who was still sitting under their big rainbow umbrella in a white collapsible chair.

He removed his sunglasses and glared at him.

“Angel…” he said in a low voice.

Aziraphale sighed and removed his readers. “Yes, you ‘caught’ a wave. I saw it.”

“No, you didn’t! You’ve been staring at that book since we got here. You said you wouldn’t read on the beach.”

“I said  _ nothing _ of the sort,” he said, closing his book but keeping a finger on the spot he was reading. “I said that I would not be reading  _ the entire time _ we were here and I didn’t read yesterday, now did I?”

“You read a book when we went to bed!”

“Because that’s part of my bed time--look, I’m on holiday as well as you and I just want to sit quietly and read. Okay?”

Crowley sighed as he wringed out the hems of his wet black swim trunks.

“Just come swim with me a bit,” he said.

Aziraphale grimaced. “I’m not much of a swimmer. Why don’t you relax here with me, instead?”

“What’s the point of going to the beach if you’re not going to swim? Furthermore, what’s the point of putting on your swimsuit if you’re not going to get it wet?”

“Well, there’s a very good reason for  _ that _ , darling,” Aziraphale replied. He looked down at his blue and white striped shirt and trunks. “This suit is a vintage.”

Crowley gasped, feigning shock. “You don’t say!  _ Vintage?  _ What a shock!”

“And what’s more, I do not wish to get it wet.”

“Wait, wait a moment,” Crowley sighed, putting his hands on his hips. “You bought that swimsuit 110 years ago...and you’ve never gotten it wet?? It’s a swimsuit, angel!”

“It’s an antique!”

Crowley threw his hands over his head. “Fine! Sit there and read. I’m going to have a swim in this beautiful ocean on this beautiful day! By all means, stay under that kitschy umbrella in your  _ dry _ swimsuit and with your boring book while your new husband swims  _ all alone! _ ”

He pivoted and put on his shades again as he stomped away.

Aziraphale jerked his book open and put on his glasses.

“Umbrella’s not kitschy,” he grumbled, at no one. “ _ You _ bought it, mister, so I’m only putting it to use.

“ _ Furthermore _ …” he continued, mocking Crowley’s voice. “Don’t you lecture me. I’ve a mind to--”

He felt a sudden wave of cold salty water splash over his face and he shrieked.

He chucked aside his book and glasses and looked up to see his husband, a big mischievous smile on his face.

He was holding a now empty pink children’s sand bucket.

Aziraphale wiped his face with his hands and licked the sand and salt from his lips. 

“Oops!” Crowley laughed. “Did I get water all over your swimsuit? Clumsy me!”

The bucket magically filled with ocean water again and Aziraphale tumbled out of the beach chair.

He left the safety of his umbrella and confronted him.

“Look here! I--”

More water splashed over his chest and he groaned as he picked a black, slimy leaf of his shoulder.

“Ugh, Crowley! That had seaweed in it!”

“And in bucket number three, we have...” Crowley said, showing him a newly filled bucket, this time filled with tiny crabs.

Aziraphale gasped. “Don’t you dare!”

Crowley teased him, moving the bucket like he was about to chuck it at him.

“I’m warning you! You put that water away, young man!”

“Poor choice of words, angel.”

Crowley reared back his arms to get a good throw behind him, but when the water left the bucket, it splashed back into his face.

“Ahh! Shit!” he cursed, spitting out a mouthful of sea water and kicking crabs away.

“I did warn you!” Aziraphale shouted.

Crowley growled and grabbed a handful of sand and threw it at him.

Aziraphale gasped again. “You’re acting like a child!”

He also took a handful of sand and hurled it toward him.

“Oi! Not the face!” Crowley screamed.

Aziraphale picked up another handful and Crowley threw down his pink bucket and darted back to the ocean.

Before he knew it, Aziraphale had caught up to him and chased him until they were waist-deep.

He tackled him and they went face first into the water.

When they resurfaced, they immediately started to splash one another, bickering as they tried to avoid each other’s blows.

“You’ve ruined my clothes!” Aziraphale yelled.

“It’s. A.  _ Swimsuit!” _ Crowley said, splashing him with each word.

Aziraphale did likewise. “It’s. 100. Years.  _ Old!! _ ”

“Ohhh! Who’s acting like a child now, eh?”

“That was also a first edition Saint Thomas More you ruined!”

“You  _ would _ bring a Thomas More book to the bloody beach!” 

He splashed him again.

Aziraphale spit out salt water and snapped his fingers, making Crowley’s sunglasses jump off his face and into the water.

“ _ Hey! _ ”

“Oops!” Aziraphale said, splashing him. “Clumsy me!”

“That’s not fair, angel!”

“Don’t act like we don’t have spares in the car.”

He splashed him again.

“Wait!” Crowley shouted, shielding his eyes. “Wait...stop! Stop splashing a minute.” Crowley wiped his face and coughed.

“Are you alright?” Aziraphale asked him. 

Crowley suddenly cupped his hands together and spun around, dragging his arms across the surface of the water to create a big wave that crashed right into Aziraphale’s face.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, cooly.

Aziraphale dove underwater.

Crowley looked for him from the surface. “Angel?”

He was underwater for a while and Crowley started to worry.

“Aziraphale! Where are you?”

He suddenly felt arms around his thighs. 

“Oh, shit.”

With abrupt force, Aziraphale shot to the surface and Crowley flew backwards into the air, landing in the water upside down.

“You bastard!” he yelled when he came back up.

But then he smiled. “Do it again!”

Aziraphale pitched him out of the water over and over again until he got tired.

Crowley swam up behind him and put his arms around his neck.

“Sorry I got your book wet,” he muttered as he pressed his cheek into his angel’s wet hair.

“And for getting my swimsuit wet?” 

“Nope! Not sorry at all in that regard.”

Aziraphale giggled and kissed his husband’s hand, tasting the saltiness of his skin.

“I must admit,” he said, “this does feel nice.”

“Mm-hmm…this holiday was a great idea, angel.”

“You think so? All of my plotting paid off, yes?”

Crowley now giggled. “It sure did.”

He moved off his back and swam around to face him.

Aziraphale put his arms around his waist and pulled him closer as he kissed him.

Crowley moved his lips along his jaw and licked up the salt water, making him moan.

One of Aziraphale’s hands moved to Crowley’s hips but something was...amiss.

“Darling…” he whispered.

“Mm?” Crowley nibbled his ear.

“Where are your trunks?”

“Eh?”

“You’re not wearing trunks.”

He reached into the water and his eyes went wide.

“Shit! Where are my trunks?”

“They must have come off when I threw you last!” Aziraphale guffawed.

“Help me find them!”

“Darling, they’re probably quite a ways off by now. Besides, you’ve never been opposed to being nude.”

Crowley groaned. “True, but...I liked those trunks.”

Aziraphale after he stopped laughing, snapped his fingers again, and Crowley felt at his hips.

“Better?” he asked.

Crowley gave him a sheepish grin. “Yeah...thanks.”

“Right, well, I’ve gone swimming with you,” Aziraphale said. “Will you relax on the beach with me, now?”

“Sure,” Crowley told him, hitching a ride on his back again as they swam to shore. “I’ll dry your book for you, too, I guess.”

They ate the lunch that Aziraphale had packed with cold cuts and fresh sliced cheese from the local delicatessen and French bread from the bakery. Crowley had mixed together a sweet red sangria and he chilled the wine glasses they had carefully stowed in the picnic basket before pouring.

They ate slowly, savoring the meal and each other’s company. They watched nearby children work together on a big sand castle complete with a moat and bridge. People passing by with their dogs would have to pull on their leashes to keep the curious pups away from the smell of salami.

After their lunch was finished, Crowley laid his head on his shoulder.

“Happy three-month anniversary, my angel,” he said.

Aziraphale grinned and kissed his temple. “Happy three-month anniversary, dear. I love you.”

“Love you, too,” he muttered, closing his eyes.

“Go ahead, darling.”

“Hm?”

“You can lie in the sun, if you want. I don’t mind.”

“You just want to read.”

“Maybe I do.”

Crowley lifted his head to kiss his cheek. 

“If you insist.”

He watched his husband lazily roll himself out of the shade of the umbrella and plop onto his back in the sand. Aziraphale giggled as Crowley let out a contented sigh.

“Best second honeymoon ever,” he stated.

Aziraphale frowned. “ _ This _ ? I don’t think so. Not  _ our _ second honeymoon, mister.”

“Then where will our second honeymoon be, my darling?”

“Paris.”

Crowley scoffed. “Angel, that  _ was  _ our honeymoon.”

“I love Paris.”

“No shit.”

“What about Rome, then?”

Crowley put his hands behind his head. “Yeah...maybe. No oysters though. Made me sick last time.”

“That was centuries ago, dear!” Aziraphale laughed. 

“Can’t believe you made me try those.”

“You’re the one that said you never had them.”

“You tempted me and because of that, I stayed in the communal toilets for hours.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes as he opened his book. “You were in there for twenty minutes. You’re so dramatic.”

“You enticer, you.”

He sighed. “Yes. I, the Principality Aziraphale, enticed the wiley Demon Crowley to eat 3 dozen oysters against his will just so he could get a sour tummy. Yes, I did that.”

Crowley put a finger to his lips. “Shh! I’m sunning. Get back to your boring book.”


End file.
